Is this Shaista Wahidi absolutely crazy? That woman has, what, two hours of airtime every week morning of every week and everytime I tune in, I swear, it's a load of crap coming out.
Today:
A Chat with a Group of Pakistani Women Living in Dubai
Location: A luxuriously decorated villa
Conversation:
People say Pakistanis living abroad love Pakistan more than the Pakistanis living in Pakistan.
PakistanPakistanPakistanPakistanPakistanPakistanPakistanPakistanPakistanPakistanPakistan
Yes, sure, they do, cos they see both the good and the bad from outside. They don't just see the bits of elbows and eyeballs lying around after a suicide bombing, they see many good things too. Yes, many good things. Errr, yes, many many good things.
Such as?
Well, you know. Look at all the bright young Pakistanis working abroad in all sorts of professions and giving Pakistan a good name. Oh yes, abroad. Of course.
One of the women claims to be Pakistan's first laser eye surgeon. Working in Dubai.
It's all the media's fault. Everything. They spread fear and hopelessness. We need more reports about how nice the weather is these days in Pakistan. How people come out dancing on the streets when it rains and mothers run to the kitchen to fry pakoras. We need more morning shows. Infact, we should have morning shows all day. Haan jee! Aap baat karein na TV walon se!
Not all Pakistanis are bad people. We need the world to know.
I mean, when I visit Pakistan, I brave the risk of a bomb and go to Zamzama and Cafe Zouq and all kinds of places. It's not like we don't do anything there. We are not afraid.
We are running out of time. Say something?
Education.
Stop criticising other people for what they wear. Go and get yourself a pair of decent jeans.
Everyone contribute something to Pakistan on 'individual level'. BlandGenericAnyIdeasWhatExactly???
Pakistan Zindabad!
Next Segment:
A Tongue-in-Cheek with the Political Talk Show Host Javed Iqbal.
Location: Another tastefully decorated villa in Dubai
Introduction:
The serious, never-smiling anchors that you see on TV also have a 'human element'. Unn k bhi maa, baap, biwi, bachay, dost hain. Woh bhi muskuratay hain. Today, let's discover the 'human element' of the famous Javed Iqbal.
Hahahaa. Javed Sahab. Hahahahaa.
Clap with glee.
We got you today!
Hahahahaa.
Let's talk about Bollywood stars. Who is your favourite?
They are all very good. I have even met some of them.They usually don't look as impressive in real life as they do on screen. I was really disappointed with Ashwariya Rai.
Yes, I know! You have to see ShahRukh Khan in real. He's sooooo SHORT and skinny and dark.But Abhishek is the sweetest, most humble thing ever!!
Ofcourse, you look as good in real as on screen. Yum Yum.
hahahaha
Ok. Who is your least favourite politician?
Ermm. I am good with everyone. I am good.
Yes you are. Do you ever get any calls from women saying how handsome you are?
Go on, go on, tell us.
Well, ummm, once while waiting for a flight....this young woman....exchanged details...do some research for me...ummm....but....ummm.....she had other ideas.....ummm
Is your wife watching this?hahahaha
So, what is the difference between a friend and a girlfriend?
hahaha. Are you like, serious?
Okay, what's your score then?
Score?
Well you know. Don't be so coy.
Kisi shair ne kia khoob kaha hai...Jo guzri baatein hain, uhein aik haseen morh pe la ke chorh do....whatever!
May be some of them you didn't have a chance to wrap up so nicely, you can give them a message here...
Lots of shifting around in the chair.
More poetry.
Is your wife watching this? hahahahaha
Forget it. Sing us a song instead.
Next time?
No, now!
Please?
Ok. Thanks for showing us your human element.
Make sure you invite me to Insight with Javed Malik too.
But wait, what am I going to talk about?
hahahahaha
(To give credit to Mr. Javed Iqbal, he tried his best to field the extremely silly questions and came out as as the more eloquent, patient and sensible of the two)
OMG! is this for real!?
ReplyDeleteI'm appalled!